things that matter

never thought friday would go by so fast.

its 2pm.
i didn't have lunch.
i still have problems with my schedule later.
that bastard ex-con didn't show up.
cham's upset with me.
i'm broke.
and i still have no direction.
damnit.

now that that's out of the way, let's try to make a few things clear.

GOD
He has plans for me, i know. he may not explain it to me so i wouldn't expect anything. He gives me these problems that are WAY SO OUTRAGEOUS i don't know how to solve it. but i know He does these things for my own good.

i know You're listening. thanks for everything You've given me. i really mean it.

oh yeah, i'm sorry i wasn't able to meet up with You last sunday. i had to stay up late with cham since she needs someone to accompany her while she waits for his ride home. i hope You're not angry. i promise to make up for it this sunday.

FAMILY
when i get my money back from that bastard (sorry, i'm a thead away from snapping at him. this is my only output, so deal with it), i'm gonna take my family out to lunch on sunday. just realized that i've been helping someone who never did anything for me, who was never a friend, and i'm depriving my family of the blessings i've been getting through monetary means. i just hope the son of a bitch pay me as soon as possible.

i may not be able to tell them so i guess i'll just say it here. mom, dad, ate, erwin, leah, aljohn - i love you guys. i know we don't get along a lot, but hey, you're the only family i have. and i'm thankful that i have you guys. we all know the house doesn't permit stinky mush such as this, so i'll just let it stink here in my blog. wehehe.

FRIENDS
they're my only outlet when everything gets too messed up. listening to the radio and drawing my characters doesn't seem to work for me recently. plus they make me feel loved and appreciated - something i haven't been feeling for quite some time.

let's see, to hazel, cham jr, vinz, jolee, jenny, aki, albert, sheila and the others (no offense. besides, its not like someone can read this...) - thanks so much for making life a bit more bearable, a bit colorful, and a bit happier. it means a lot to me. really. well. uhm. ok. enough mush. hehe.

as i'm writing this i'm talking to cham via email. as stated above she's upset with me because i didn't want to count myself as one under her contributors for the statsoc ad. (i'm too drained to elaborate, so i'll leave it at that). its funny that she's talking to me and she's upset. i can't remember her like this before. maybe i AM in her comfort zone already... hhhhmmm... i don't know if that's a good thing or not. anyway, i'll find out soon enough. i wish she wouldn't be upset with me anymore.

PROBLEMS

they are there to make you think, to make you feel, and to make you strong. they are not there to destroy you and they are definitely NOT there for you to dwell on them. it's just like a math problem, except that you get peace of mind (either partial or otherwise) rather than grades. deal with them, don't runaway. don't dwell on them either.

well, that's that. i'm going to watch a funny movie later. i need a good laugh. this day isn't really a great one.