hhhhmmm... what to write? what to write?
had a couple of topics in mind yesterday. everything seemed to have vanished when i got that text message from aki last night,
"arn arn, wag ka magagalit ha. wag na siguro tayong lumabas tomorrow or kahit kelan. hayaan mo na yung promise mo. ok lang talaga sakon. we'll see each other pa naman before i go. thanks na lang ha."
where'd that come from? well, it would give me some form of comfort if i knew why,
"wag mo na alamin. basta arn, thanks ha. i really want to spend time with you sana pero things will be better kung hindi na lang. it's no big problem naman. basta ha, thanks talaga. we'll see each other pa, promise."
there goes that form of comfort. i'm sad and disappointed, but what else can i do? it's as if being mad would make things better. might as well just dive into that pool of kindness and courage to say two words: i understand...
"thank you. thank you so much arnel. anyway, thanks uli sa CD, ang gaganda ng songs. goodnight ha. thanks again."
you're welcome... guess wearing that smiling mask has its merits afterall. T_T
i'll leave it at that. i don't want to think of anything else. no more reading between the lines. i'm just sad and disappointed. thought i could share everything that has happened to me - that unfortunate encounter with a bastard ex-con, that other unfortunate encounter with an overly sensitive old hag, how food becomes tasteless during lunch because i eat alone, how being with friends and family make me feel alive. guess i'll have to keep it to myself, again.
oh well, so much for a happy day. but it's still morning, lets see what happens later on in the day. i might just be in the mood for another entry. *hoping*
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