i hope my decision would not backfire.
haven't told cham yet. but i'm going to count myself under her (still about that ad thing. and we said its no biggie. damnit, how many times did i mention this in my writings?). i'm going to e-mail sally as soon as i finish this writing. screw it if sally becomes upset, too.
yup, you guessed it right. my heart won over my head.
should i be happy? i should. but i'm NOT.
why? you say.
here's why.
yet again i've proven weakness by changing my decision JUST BECAUSE my friend is upset with me. this would imply her having power over me. she influences my decision at a large scale. and this is bad. very bad. why? she's not even my girlfriend for crying out loud!! yet i bow down to what she wants. i hate myself for not sticking to my decision.
this is just a part of me that's upset. i don't like inconsistencies. my HS barkada, was once dubbed "Most Inconsistent Boys". majority of us were, but i wasn't. if i say something i mean it, i do it, i stand by it, unlike now.
"is this part of a compromise to prevent tension and potential fights?"
maybe. but again, SHE IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND.
why am i giving this much consideration on how she feels?
i hope i'm not in this mood when i come to dinner. and i hope they would be at their semi-best, non-teasing, sensitive behavior... or else sparks will fly.
"contain yourself. you wouldn't want to do that now, would you? "
i hope i won't get a phone call from that bastard lowlife. nothing would make me more infuriated than a measly phone call from someone who wants to throw his life away. might as well turn my phone off.
"start working. you had a wrong estimated timeframe. at least start now so you wouldn't kick yourself in the ass come the weekend when you find out you can't finish it. "
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