tell me something: am i a bad person?

well, as the title goes, am I?

I’m lost somewhere between the lines I’ve drawn to categorize good and bad. Having this another twisted argument that good and bad are like any other adjectives in the English language, I have this tendency to dismiss the notion of good and bad, right and wrong, as their meaning differs from one person to the next. Hence my question.

I’ve been wanting to ask this question to a lot of people, hoping I’d get a sound answer. Not the ones people would assume I’d agree with. Most of them would probably say, “no, you’re not a bad person”. Others, more often my close friends who would take joy in answering this rather “mushy” question would say, “hell yeah, dude. You ARE bad”.

Screw them. That opens another issue.

I’ve been taught to be a goodie-to-shoe since I was little. I did everything my parents wanted me to do – study hard. Be good. Don’t lie. You pretty much get the picture, right?

I never really realized why I was doing the things my parents told me to do. Now that I have realized them, there’s one question: did I do such things because my parents told me so, or because I wanted to do them myself?

Heh… phrasing that question and reading it made me realize my boss IS right. I think of things that DO NOT MATTER.

Its something I’ve done in the past. If ever I have the same question in my head right now whenever I do something, it doesn’t really matter. There are you things do because its an ORDER and there things you do because you WANT to do them. Everything I do doesn’t have to have one reason… I get it now. Hehe, funny. I realized this while writing. Maybe this journal thing really works.

Now, back to my question. Am I a bad person? Maybe it doesn’t matter if I know the answer to this question or not. What matters is that I am what I am and I have reasons for doing things.

Wow. I hope I could keep this frame of mind every time I feel like I did something bad to someone.