aki doesn't seem to do a good job at it. jenny's another wacked job, cham won't even listen to what i'm gonna say, haze is the proponent of the forget-cham movement, and it feels weird talking to a guy... what to do? what to do?
its thursday, and sunday's event still lingers in my mind, not to mention the daily exchange of messages and texts keep me thinking about sarah. its not that i don't think this is a good thing. like i said, she might just be my cure, but i find this encounter a little too fast... and i find it weird that we discuss things that are better left undiscussed, though i appreciate that she's open to almost every topic i throw at her. she manages to answer personal questions as if she had a cheat sheet on hand. i thought i had things figured out, but she makes me look like a confused idiot.
this new-found closeness with someone i haven't seen in 10 years is really starting to scare me. how did this happen? how is it that i feel so at ease when i'm with her? i could understand if we've been in touch for a year or so, doing stuff together like what i do with haze and the others, but to meet after 10 years and have an almost instant closeness comparable to what i have with my closest friends i spent at least 2 years with... that doesn't make any sense...
again, its not that i'm not happy to have found another great person in my life, but for this to happen in a very short span of time is beyond me. could i have feelings for her? no, i can't. it simply doesn't make sense. i didn't expect my date with her to be barrels of fun, and i'm really looking forward to seeing her again. but why?
could it be that i'm just overwhelmed by the attention she's been giving me? perhaps. i have to keep to straight head. i can't think of things beyond what they are. and if she really IS my cure, i should take things slow. step-by-step. why am i even bothered by this? i have all the time in the world to know her better. why am i making a big deal out of this?
looks like i only have God to ask. i'm not expecting anyone to give me reality checks right now, since this is not cham...
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