Let’s just not name them shall we? Please allow me this amount of anonymity.
I don’t know if I’m going to be happy or sad in what I just discovered last weekend. I’m going to take that as a brave move on your part. I hope everything I said finally came through to you – that things happen for a reason, and sometimes the only way to help someone is to leave them. I pray that you would have God’s wisdom and be filled with enlightenment rather than more hatred towards the world. As for me, I may not be able to overcome this guilty feeling – not in the near future, but I’m getting there. I did say before that love isn’t for me, but I guess I was just too afraid to try again.
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You’ve changed – maybe not totally but at least there is, from where I’m standing. I guess an apology would be in order, but I know that’s too mushy. Looks like you’ve been influenced by the same evil force that told me to look after no one but thyself. We are in a harsh corporate world after all. And perhaps there are broken fences we can’t fix, but I guess we’ll have to see if the latter part of that statement is true. For now, just have a nice life, pal.
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You sure know how to hide your emotions. I couldn’t even see a trace of being lost on your face when I last saw you. I think I have to give credit to myself as well for acting like I don’t know anything. I don’t know what I’m supposed to say to your significant other, as if i was appointed by somebody to be your defense lawyer or something. Playing shrink gets tougher and tougher when you deal with a person who gets crazier by the minute (no offense to the girl). It’s like going back to highschool – not that I don’t like playing adviser. I just find it weird that people come to me for advice when I can’t even get myself into a relationship. Oh well, I hope you guys could still fix things. As she said, “…stop your odyssey, come home to greece…”
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C’mon, you know your guy better than anyone else. And you also know that he needs time and space to think – to figure out where he really is. I’m not the one who will tell you what to do. That’s just not my style. I can only give perspectives on things. I don’t want you to go blaming other people (namely me), for actions you’ve done – not that you’re going to, but let’s just avoid by not telling other people what and what not to do. Patience is a virtue – yeah, cliché, i know... and I don’t really believe it much. But it’s something you can hold on to. for the meantime, just wait, and do what you have to do while you wait for God’s grand design to unfold.
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I have always looked up to you. I thought you were invincible, but I was wrong. And I feel bad to know what has happened to you. In the 23 years of my existence, I’ve only gotten to see a different side of you just recently. I wanted to do something to make it all better – I guess that’s just how I am. I just don’t like seeing you pretending that everything is alright and know that deep down, it’s not. You never deserve to be treated the way you were. I pray things will get better. I still look up to you.
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I never thought I’d be drained again after my short-lived romantic relationship, but this time I don’t seem to mind it too much – perhaps because I’m not the one in the picture. I could be all self-righteous and tell you to stop your madness, but who am I to tell you that – a friend? Perhaps, but we all know love (if it really is what you feel) is beyond logic and anything anyone would say will only be meaningless. I did try, but in the end, you’ll be the one calling the shots. Anyway, good luck. Just know that I’m here, ready to slap you with reality checks. Just don’t be the brat that you are and listen to me, okay?
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Are you becoming a hassle? Nah. Did I ever have that feeling that I woke up one day and realized I didn’t love a person? Yeah. Did I ever want a ‘real relationship’ – one that provides security, warmth, and happiness? Don’t we all want that? But like I’ve told you, it’s not a one-way street. You can’t expect something to be given to you and don’t give anything in return. You want a serious relationship? Be serious. You give some, you get some (no pun intended, hehe). I still can’t believe you’re one of the people who think I know things – especially on relationships, but thanks for the trust, even if we haven’t seen each other.
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Last Saturday’s talk just made you the third (unlikely) person God sent to give some words of wisdom from the bible – not to mention a crash course on roman history and the political situation of the country. I guess that makes me lucky. You’ve given me some enlightening thoughts, but I did sense a hint of… I don’t know, over-passion maybe? Being passionate about something is good – even an admirable trait, but sometimes we have to respect other people’s values and principles. It’s not apathy, it’s more of respect. Disappointments happen when we expect too much from people. I don’t know if it’s better if we didn’t expect anything from anyone, but making it an accessory in any relationship will only bring disharmony among you. I respect your views and principles, but think about what I said.
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Okay, I need to stop myself for a while. My last experience of being “swept away” didn’t really turn out quite alright. I need to take better care of myself this time. But I am happy to have had a chance to spend time with you, even if it’s just for a while. I’ve mentioned you somewhere here before, so I guess a “thank you” would be enough for now. I hope I can get to know more about you in the coming days, and I hope you’d inspire me to be the person I want to be, the person God wants me to be…
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and for the obvious question, the answer is NO.
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