some thoughts on bible study

For those who don’t know, I attend weekly (though not strictly) bible study sessions in the office during lunchtime. (and no, I don’t burst into flames whenever I hear bible verses and say prayers). yesterday's topic was about the sheep and the shepherd. I won’t discuss that anymore. I didn’t get to say much during the study, so I’ll probably just say it here.

God knows His sheep and the sheep know Him

Those who are called by God can “hear” Him and follow His call. Let me present the argument of obeying one’s will versus that of God’s. How sure are we of what God wants us to do? Is it really His voice we’re hearing? Or is it coming from our own? Don’t get me wrong here, I have a God and I trust Him. I believe in Him. But I find it hard to see what He wants me to do.

The Shepherd throws His rod to bring the sheep back to the flock

You can probably view this as a metaphor for trials, problems and the like. Ok, I get that He wants to tell me something, but what is it? How sure am I that it really is His will? Let’s take for example; my case with my ex. Was it His will to break us apart because He saw that it was no longer healthy? Or was it just me seeing it that way? Was His reason for letting us meet again after 11 years was for me to teach her that happiness is a choice and that no one else can make us happy unless we want to be such? Or was it part of His grand design to show me how difficult I was when I always feel/see the world in a dark light? Apologies for being a little scientific and cynical, but I need a parameter to qualify something as God’s will or mine.

It now makes me think if I really am one of God’s sheep. I’ve always prayed for everything I need to become God’s servant so that others may see Him and His love through me. If I really am one of His, shouldn’t I be able to know if it’s His Will and not mine? Am I just guilty that I had to leave my ex because of the situation and I’m covering it up with this whole “God’s Will” thing? Scary thought.

It’s always the same with the other bible studies. I can’t help but bring in human thought and nature into the picture. Oh well, nobody required that I agree with whatever is discussed in the study. I just feel good having to hear God’s word, as I couldn’t do it on my own on a regular basis.