friends
i just talked to aki on ym. haven't talked to her since heaven knows when. i just realized how much i missed her, along with other friends i don't get to see often due to busy scheds. i guess as you grow old (which i still refuse to admit), your 24 hours seem to get shorter and shorter. i try to keep in touch with people as much as i could, but i can only do so much.
drawing
i haven't drawn anything in ages. i was wrong in believing my mechanical pencil had an unlimited supply of lead. my hard drive space is too small for photoshop. i spend my time either catching up on sleep, on friends online, or on reading the 2 books LV lent me (i have a 1-month deadline on them, kinda demanding girl, don't you think? hehe). maybe its about time i put my inspiration onto paper, again.
badminton
haven't played for weeks now. how am i suppose to beat miss grace?! i just miss breaking sweats, having fun at court and gaining back all the calories after the game.
bowling
i made my all-time high during my last game, which i couldn't remember when (was it after statsoc's career talk?). i need to practice having probably 2 of the most important things in work: focus and stress.
soundtrip
i barely listen to radio these days. i have to leave home early for work. i don't have a handy fm radio with me (buying one would solve it, but i'd rather buy one with an mp3 player - which wouldn't fit my budget especially now that its summer). i also miss finding underground music with shiela (sorry ha? wala na akong mai-share na music). i got to listen to urbandub's new album while waiting for hazel last saturday after my last day at MS class. 'first of summer' really has a catchy melody - i find myself humming to it while walking to my SAS training a couple of days ago.
coffee
the last one i had was with my sister at coffee bean and tea leaf during my birthday. we had a good two and half-hour talk, something we don't usually do in the family. not really looking forward to coffee perse, but to the talks i have with people that goes along with it.
anyhow, here's the lyrics to urbandub's 'first of summer'. its not that deep, but i like it.
First of Summer
Urbandub
(chorus)
Parked car
This night sky
Makes city lights shine like diamonds
Our song plays on the radio
We're living it up
Make this night ours
We own the world
I wish this lasts forever
Alone with you tonight
Further in you feels so right
(chorus)
We're giving it up and just a little more
This heartfelt leap I surrender
With arms raised tonight.
(anywhere with you)
Drive me away
Cuz the night just feels right
Take me away with you tonight
Anywhere with you
Our song plays on
Parked car, night sky
Alone with you tonight
Friday, March 31, 2006
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
the duality principle and a message for broken hearts
one of the things i picked up from watching "charmed" was the mention of the universe's grand design - duality. people may find it a little crazy to believe in a notion that is formulated as part of a script made solely for entertainment purposes, but it makes sense to me. you can call me gullible, crazy even. its alright. i've been getting comments like that since i was in college.
i may just be paranoid in thinking that the amounts of happiness and sorrow around me have been re-distributed - making some people happier than usual (me included), and some people miserable...
i just couldn't find myself to be happy when i know (and feel) that the people i care about are having a rough time. it feels like a trade off. i become happier than usual - they end up with broken hearts.
crazy thought. i know.
enough geeky terms. i think i've been applying certain MS crap on regular sentences a little too much already...
the heartbreak epedemic
God has reasons for making things the way they are right now - including the pain and misery people endure (jenny, you're probably right. break-up scenarios are epedemic these days. i just wish there was a vaccine to avoid it). i trust that this pain is given to those who can handle it - probably becuase of several reasons:
they have been too happy, they forget
God has measures of reminding us of the things that matter. those who have placed their relationship, among other things, on top of everything else tend to be too happy that they forget to even say "thank you" to HIM. i don't want to sound like a preacher, but i have this theory that God takes away that which makes us forget about Him. He is, as the bible says, a jealous God.
things are going the wrong way
they say love is blind. others say that a person inlove sees the wrong things but doesn't mind. maybe there is some truth in these, but there are also some danger in it. more often than not, we don't realize we've been led astray by the very relationship we prayed that would make us "grow" to become better people in God's eyes. things have a way of ending itself whether we like it or not - either way it brings us pain and misery. we often ask why it had to happen, but the answers to questions such as this will reveal itself in due time - in God's time.
its a test
this can often be misleading...
every relationship goes though bumps, detours and flat tires - mainly to test on how much we want the relationship to continue. the challenge is, well, to not give up... atleast that's how most people view it. you can, however, view it as a test of faith - in God and His grand design for us. giving up doesn't mean failing the test. failure would be losing your faith in God's plans for you. we may not understand what's on His drawing board, but that's the challenge - trusting that His plan is far better than anything we can possibly imagine.
these are just some. i do not intend to provide people explanations as to why things happen. it a little selfish, actually - 'coz i'm probably the one using these notions as "excuses" to feel happy on my birthday. sadly (or maybe not), it didn't help me much. this year, my wish is for you guys, who have been my source of God's strength, wisdom, and courage.
you guys are put into situations becuase He has plans for you. He won't give you such pain that you can't endure. He wants two things: for you to become stronger, and for you to call out to Him. for those who know me, i don't tell people what to do or how to feel. this is just a perspective to help you see things in another light.
do i still need to mention that i'm just here? i'll do my best to become as positive as possible. afterall, the duality principle maybe governing us - meaning, there is enough positivity in the air to balance us out. we just have to see things differently... =)
note: apologies for the disorganized thoughts and incoherent sentences.
i may just be paranoid in thinking that the amounts of happiness and sorrow around me have been re-distributed - making some people happier than usual (me included), and some people miserable...
i just couldn't find myself to be happy when i know (and feel) that the people i care about are having a rough time. it feels like a trade off. i become happier than usual - they end up with broken hearts.
crazy thought. i know.
enough geeky terms. i think i've been applying certain MS crap on regular sentences a little too much already...
the heartbreak epedemic
God has reasons for making things the way they are right now - including the pain and misery people endure (jenny, you're probably right. break-up scenarios are epedemic these days. i just wish there was a vaccine to avoid it). i trust that this pain is given to those who can handle it - probably becuase of several reasons:
they have been too happy, they forget
God has measures of reminding us of the things that matter. those who have placed their relationship, among other things, on top of everything else tend to be too happy that they forget to even say "thank you" to HIM. i don't want to sound like a preacher, but i have this theory that God takes away that which makes us forget about Him. He is, as the bible says, a jealous God.
things are going the wrong way
they say love is blind. others say that a person inlove sees the wrong things but doesn't mind. maybe there is some truth in these, but there are also some danger in it. more often than not, we don't realize we've been led astray by the very relationship we prayed that would make us "grow" to become better people in God's eyes. things have a way of ending itself whether we like it or not - either way it brings us pain and misery. we often ask why it had to happen, but the answers to questions such as this will reveal itself in due time - in God's time.
its a test
this can often be misleading...
every relationship goes though bumps, detours and flat tires - mainly to test on how much we want the relationship to continue. the challenge is, well, to not give up... atleast that's how most people view it. you can, however, view it as a test of faith - in God and His grand design for us. giving up doesn't mean failing the test. failure would be losing your faith in God's plans for you. we may not understand what's on His drawing board, but that's the challenge - trusting that His plan is far better than anything we can possibly imagine.
these are just some. i do not intend to provide people explanations as to why things happen. it a little selfish, actually - 'coz i'm probably the one using these notions as "excuses" to feel happy on my birthday. sadly (or maybe not), it didn't help me much. this year, my wish is for you guys, who have been my source of God's strength, wisdom, and courage.
you guys are put into situations becuase He has plans for you. He won't give you such pain that you can't endure. He wants two things: for you to become stronger, and for you to call out to Him. for those who know me, i don't tell people what to do or how to feel. this is just a perspective to help you see things in another light.
do i still need to mention that i'm just here? i'll do my best to become as positive as possible. afterall, the duality principle maybe governing us - meaning, there is enough positivity in the air to balance us out. we just have to see things differently... =)
note: apologies for the disorganized thoughts and incoherent sentences.
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